When Husband and I were in Charleston Sunday, we were walking around the Market and came across a t-shirt shop. There were several funny t-shirts hanging in the windows. You know, ones with funny sayings or pictures on them. Ones that are all the rage with the kids these days.
Anyway, one of the funniest ones we saw and probably have ever seen was green and had a tractor on it. It read: I don’t need a tractor to pull hoes.
Words to live by.
August 31, 2010
There is nothing worse than a stop and chat. And a stop and chat at work makes me want to pull out my fingernails one by one and poke them into my eyeballs. I’m sorry, but I’m really getting tired of people here treating me as if I care. I assure you people, I don’t. The only reason I work here is for money, and I have made that perfectly clear by saying things like the only reason I work here is for money. Open your ears.
With all of their let me run this by you or even worse you should come to this meeting to see if you get anything of value out of it, it’s enough to make me want to scream and punch. The only thing holding me back is the fact that I really don’t want to get arrested now that I’m going to be a mom. How bad would THAT look?
And, who would suggest going to a meeting to see if I might possibly get something out of it anyway? I know other people do, but this is me we’re talking about.
These people have way too many meetings as it is. Phone calls to talk about meetings, meetings to talk about meetings, and stop and chats to talk about what happened at the meeting. Good lord, we just sat in a room together for over an hour talking about something I didn’t listen to. Why would you want to stop in the hall and chat about it again?
For more clarification on how things should go, watch this video. Larry David is my hero!
Curb Your Enthusiasm-The Stop and Chat
August 26, 2010
Tonight, some of us elders are going to see Eclipse. I won’t lie, I’m pumped! What does that say about me? Ugh.
It will be the first Twilight movie I’ve seen in the theater, and there is some sweet action to take place at the end. So, maybe it just says that I appreciate a good special effect and a well choreographed fight scene. Yeah, we’ll go with that.
Also, I do feel it might be my duty as a patron in this great land of ours. I mean, if a hot bodied tween is making his living not wearing his shirt for an entire movie, who am I to not watch it? It takes a village people.
1 Comment July 28, 2010
Last night Husband and I went to a breastfeeding class, which started out with a 20 minute video of boob after boob. Up close and uncovered. Sure, there were some babies in there too, but who could see them? All we could focus on were the boobs. I mean breasts. That’s the proper term.
After a couple minutes of watching, I started laughing to myself. Because I’m 13. I glanced over at Husband knowing I was probably going to get the evilest eye of all the evil eyes, but surprisingly, he was barely holding it together himself. There we were, 11 weeks from having our own little baby, in a room with several other couples in the same boat, watching these women breastfeed their babies while a narrator talked about how lovely this bonding experience would be and how important technique is, etc, and we are trying not to bust a gut and shame ourselves into oblivion.
Oh our poor kid. How will he ever learn how to act like a mature adult when his parents are us? On the other hand, a boob is funny, I don’t care who you are. Maybe there’s still hope.
1 Comment July 15, 2010
When I leave this job, which I inevitably will because I am meant for more hearting and less accounting, I think I’ll go through and change all of Hair’s procedure documents from plain ol’ English to pirate-speak. Why, you ask? One, it will send him into a frenzy the likes of which no man has ever seen, and two, nothing’s funnier than talking to a pirate. I’m thinking something like this:
Instead of please pay the amount listed in two business days, which is a Thursday, it might read more like Aaarrrgh, pay the amount that be listed in two days which be a Thursday or walk the plank matey.
1 Comment June 22, 2010