Planning

Last night, I spent some time talking to a guy I had just met about penises, erections and the ever-popular party topic, smegma.  That’s right.  That’s how I spend my Tuesday nights these days.

The guy was actually a doctor.  One I was “interviewing” to be our teener’s pediatrician.  But, that didn’t make it less awkward.  No amount of professionalism can overcome the awkwardness of the word or substance smegma.  None.

After an hour together, I was ready to hand over Jin Woo to him and let him shoot him up with 14, 757 chemicals that were mixed inside of a monkey’s intestine then added to some cow blood and this thing I found on the bottom of my shoe, which will undoubtedly protect him from a virus that’s not even that bad but that he may or may not catch because it was around during the 1800s in London.  Kidding.  But, he did pass the test.

My point: we have our kid’s doctor all lined up.  Yes, the kid that isn’t even born yet.  All we have to do now is make sure I give birth on a day that one of the doctors I like at my practice is on duty.  Could be tricky.  I hear babies come when they want to and don’t exactly adhere to a schedule.  It would be really helpful if Jin Woo took after me and was on time and present when he was supposed to be.  That way, I could make sure to avoid bringing him into the world with Drs. Smiley and Rude Ass and instead have Dr. Sweet and Supportive or Dr. Semi-Hippie deliver him.  Yes, that will do just fine.