The other night, I went to the local home improvement store and as I was standing there looking at light bulbs and minding my own business, I heard this man say I’m not going to have to deliver a baby in the store tonight am I?
It didn’t quite register that he was actually talking to me. As I said, I was minding, and I assumed (and wish) everyone else would too. But, I was wrong. He was, in fact, talking to me. I turned to see who said it, and as he continued walking, he looked at me and grinned. Oh haha, I said. Now go away chump. You must be due soon, huh?
Ugh. I mean, how far are we going with this sir? We are strangers after all, and I am absolutely, positively 100% sure my due date is none of your business. But, I played along. I have about 2 more months, I said being intentionally vague.
Then, the proverbial shit hit the fan. He literally stopped for a second and bugged his eyes out and said Whoa, really? Then, the kicker. Twins? I’m sorry, I asked certain he did not just ask me if I am having twins. But, yes, that’s exactly what he did. He repeated it, and y’all, I don’t know what happened, but the next thing I know, I threw down my purse, grabbed a nail gun off a nearby shelf and sprayed him with nails that spelled out JACKASS.
Maybe I dreamed that part.
I don’t know what is up with people. I mean, I realize that part of the human condition is that we are nosy. And, part of being Southern is that we take that to the next level and say whatever it is we want or feel to whoever it is we want to say it to even if we don’t know that person. Soemtimes it’s really nice stuff, and other times it’s geez lady you are huge, you must be having twins tomorrow. But COME ON PEOPLE. Everyone knows that pregnant people are hormonal. Everyone knows women do not like to have their weight discussed. And, everyone should know that it is not polite or necessary for you to make comments or stare at people. Pregnant or not. I’ll let you in on a little secret, WE DON’T LIKE IT.
It’s rude and annoying and you look like a crazy, obsessive loon when you gawk. And, I don’t care if you think it’s beautiful or you are looking adoringly at the belly. Just because I’m pregnant doesn’t give you the right to invade my space. Man, as if I didn’t already feel their pain, I totally get why celebrities hate the paparazzi so much.
LOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
He could have just finished it off and touched your belly! I don’t even do that with close friends or relatives unless invited (usually when the little one is kicking or has the hiccups).