We just got home from celebrating our friend JAM’s birthday. Mexican food and friends. It doesn’t get much better.
I call the birthday girl JAM because she has been known to bust out the opening line of this song from time to time. With emphasis and feeling. I mean feeeeeeeeeeeeling. It is always funny. Always.
I hope you enjoy it, and if you were a child of the 80s, I feel certain you will. Hell, you probably have sung it a time or two yourself.
Happy Birthday JAM and Happy Friday everyone!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4yVEGAuj8RM
September 2, 2010
Last night, I spent some time talking to a guy I had just met about penises, erections and the ever-popular party topic, smegma. That’s right. That’s how I spend my Tuesday nights these days.
The guy was actually a doctor. One I was “interviewing” to be our teener’s pediatrician. But, that didn’t make it less awkward. No amount of professionalism can overcome the awkwardness of the word or substance smegma. None.
After an hour together, I was ready to hand over Jin Woo to him and let him shoot him up with 14, 757 chemicals that were mixed inside of a monkey’s intestine then added to some cow blood and this thing I found on the bottom of my shoe, which will undoubtedly protect him from a virus that’s not even that bad but that he may or may not catch because it was around during the 1800s in London. Kidding. But, he did pass the test.
My point: we have our kid’s doctor all lined up. Yes, the kid that isn’t even born yet. All we have to do now is make sure I give birth on a day that one of the doctors I like at my practice is on duty. Could be tricky. I hear babies come when they want to and don’t exactly adhere to a schedule. It would be really helpful if Jin Woo took after me and was on time and present when he was supposed to be. That way, I could make sure to avoid bringing him into the world with Drs. Smiley and Rude Ass and instead have Dr. Sweet and Supportive or Dr. Semi-Hippie deliver him. Yes, that will do just fine.
September 1, 2010
Monday, I went from being Poppy, prego who’s expecting a baby, to serious soon to be mom. Why? Because Husband installed our infant car seat in my car. That means that today, I drove to work with a car seat base in my back seat. And THAT means one day there will be a kid in it. Whoa!
When you get pregnant, it’s very exciting. Life changes overnight, and it’s fun. You may have been trying for it for a while or it may have been quick, but regardless, it’s true excitement. Unlike any you’ve ever experienced.
Then, you go to pour yourself a glass of celebratory wine so you and your husband can toast and you realize you can’t have it. Oh.
Then, you get really tired and cranky because you are so hungry and there’s a tiny little baby inside of you sucking out your life force and you go for some coffee and realize that you can’t have that either. Right.
Finally, you get to the point you can tell people the news. Your belly starts to poke out, and you have something to show for all of the months you’ve been in secret secrecy. Woo!
Approximately 47 months later, you are tired and cranky again and hot and big and all you want in this world is to have this dang baby already. The anticipation is killing you and it’s exciting and you can’t wait to see that little teener face and know that everything is going to be okay.
Then, someone installs a car seat in the car you’ve had since you were 24 and HO. LEE. SHIT.
August 31, 2010
When Husband and I were in Charleston Sunday, we were walking around the Market and came across a t-shirt shop. There were several funny t-shirts hanging in the windows. You know, ones with funny sayings or pictures on them. Ones that are all the rage with the kids these days.
Anyway, one of the funniest ones we saw and probably have ever seen was green and had a tractor on it. It read: I don’t need a tractor to pull hoes.
Words to live by.
August 31, 2010
Friday, Husband and I were on our way to our babymoon near Charleston, SC. As usual, I was starved at 5pm when we got in the car, but I made it til six before we had to stop. We decided to get fast food so it would be, ya know, fast. We sat two tables down from a man who was eating alone, and he smiled at us. We smiled back and got situated at our table.
Next thing I know, you must be having twins. Are you kidding me?
There he was, smiling and chuckling at us. No…nope, I said. He laughed again.
Okay, so what was funny? That’s what I want to know. Geez man, do you think you’re original? Obviously not. Also, the fact that you had the nerve to say such a thing does not make you funny. It makes you a dick. Sorry, but it’s just a fact. He is lucky I didn’t take his tray and beat him over the head with it then make him lick it. Sick. But deserved.
August 29, 2010
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